Sandra Canfield asked:
Married life inevitably has its ups and downs, so a strong bond between the married couple is needed to overcome all obstacles. In days long past, to give newlyweds a good start in their new life together, friends and relatives would perform rites to appease the gods and ward off evil spirits and give gifts to help the young couple to establish a household and wedding ceremonies would include as many “good luck charms” as possible.
While wedding ceremonies and customs have changed much over the centuries and differ between cultures, they all celebrate the bond between the newlywed couple. So, when you are planning your wedding on foreign shores, why not add some of the local customs to your ceremony? It will make your wedding day as unique as the bond between the two of you and provide lasting memories.
Preparing the Way Ahead
Many countries have customs to ensure the wedding day is a lucky one and not marred by discord, bad luck, or evil spirits. In Germany, friends and relatives smash crockery on the young couple’s doorstep on the evening before the wedding to drive away bad luck. For the same reason, church bells are rung at an English wedding when the bride enters the church to walk up the aisle. The bride’s path, or in some countries the marriage bed, is strewn with flower petals to wish the young couple a happy life together. And to give the newlyweds a chance to settle into the married state without a truckload of chores, an Egyptian bride’s family will prepare enough food to last a week.
Continuity
Customs celebrating continuity are part of the marriage ceremony in many countries. In southern Africa, fire is brought from the houses of the bride’s and groom’s parents to light a fire in the young couple’s house. In Bermuda, it is the custom for the couple to be given a tree sapling along with the wedding cake. The tree is planted where the couple can watch it grow throughout their married life. French couples will drink from the “wedding cup” during their marriage ceremony. These cups are often very elaborate and passed from one generation to the next.
Commitment
The central core of any wedding is the public commitment that the partners are making to each other. Not enough with this, in many countries the bride and groom are “forced” to demonstrate to the wedding guests and the world at large that they are fitted to married life and able to share common tasks. In parts of Africa, couples jump over a broom held across the church door or across the threshold of their new home to indicate that they are ready to keep house together. In Germany, newly married couples have to perform a task such as sawing wood or hanging washing to show that they can work as a team.
The tradition of exchanging and wearing wedding rings, today an accepted form of publicly showing commitment, might be traced back to the ancient Egyptians. A wedding band, with no beginning and no end, signified never-ending love. But rings are not the only items exchanged to show one’s love. In Wales, it was the custom for the groom to carve a wooden spoon, which his betrothed would wear on a chain to show that she was “spoken for.”
Good Luck Charms
Red, the colour of love and joy, plays an important part in a Chinese wedding, where brides often wear red wedding dresses and candles, accessories and table decorations are all coloured red, while a Japanese bride wore white, long before this became a popular custom in Europe or America. Everyone will have heard the rhyme “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence in your shoe,” which is traditional in England and America and symbolises past, future, happiness, fidelity, and prosperity. In a similar vein, a Swedish bride’s parents will give her two coins to wear in each shoe to protect her from a life of poverty.
Special, symbolic, foods are served at many weddings to bring health, long life, happiness, and wealth to the young couple. Dried fruit and nuts, the signs of plentiful harvest, feature in many cultures, as do “luxury” foods such as marzipan and fancy sugarcraft.
Passing It On
Weddings never just end with the couple retiring and guests going home. Instead, the end of the wedding day is the time to pass on some of the good fortune the newlywed couple has had to unmarried friends and relations. In Finland, the blindfolded bride is surrounded by unwed friends and will hand one of them her bridal crown. The girl being given the crown, it is said, will be the next to marry. In England and America, brides throw their bouquets into a group of unmarried friends, while in Germany, the bride will “dance off her veil.”
A wedding is a joyous occasion regardless of where you come from or in which country you choose to tie the knot. Rites and customs may differ, but all celebrate the bond between the bride and groom and aim to wish them the best of luck. If you are planning a wedding abroad, and are able to incorporate some of the local customs, you will create a wedding day that is delightfully different and will give both of you and all your guests memories that will last for many years.
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