How does this sound?
?? Pink Flamingo ?? asked:
Soon Quinn dismounted from his black stallion and knotted his reins to a pole. Caden followed his brother’s actions, then hopped up the wooden steps into the shop. As they pushed open the door, a bell rang, signaling that they had arrived. Caden tried to hide his face by pulling up his cloak. She couldn’t notice him. He’d dressed nicely and slicked back his hair so he looked somewhat different from his ragged old self, but he didn’t plan on the disguise working. This morning it had to fool his father and his brother he wasn’t trying to change his identity and, right now, it had to alter his identity from the lady working at the shop. Most likely it wouldn’t work, but Caden still had to try. Quinn weighed a brightly colored tomato in his left hand and another in his right. Each was plump and ripe. Then with a scowl imprinted upon his face, Quinn laid down the fruit in his left hand and kept the other. The man searched down all the carts in the shop, from apples to yams. The whole time +
Caden was holding his breath in a corner, hoping that the shopkeeper wouldn’t notice him. Finally after Quinn spread out all the fruit, vegetables, and bread on the countertop, the lady turned around and calculated the price.
“That’ll be six coins, sir.” Quinn untied the strings of his purse off of his belt and dug through the little bag, counting them aloud with a whisper. Caden gave his brother an impatient hand motion to get moving. Rolling his eyes, Quinn glared at Caden then handed the money off to the lady.
“Thank you. You had wonderful crops this year. I hope they will be just as good next year, for our family will be looking forward to it.”
“I hope so too. My husband said that the strawberries will be ready in a few more weeks if you would like to get the best of the pick first. An’ at the end of summer, we’ll have some sweet cantaloupe for you to purchase.” She gathered Quinn’s items and tied them in all in a cloth then handed it back to him. “Oh and before you go, tell +
that boy you came in with that if he stole anything this time, he’s mighty stupid to be going back to the same shop in the same week.”
Caden’s cheeks flushed as he gently let down his hood, nervously chuckling.
“I’ll make sure he knows he’s stupid for stealing from you in the first place. Thank you again for letting me even step foot in your shop when he came with me.”
“No problem. You are a sweet young man.” Quinn blushed as the lady patted his hand, and then he skittered out of the shop with Caden behind him.
Outside the horses whinnied and stamped their hooves in the newly made mud as rain bounced off the roof and soaked into the earth. Mothers were pushing their children inside their houses, scolding them for getting their clothes wet and muddy. The wind tossed the rain back and forth, the dark clouds determined to cause chaos. Far back in the hills, lightening struck something invisible, flashing bright orange, then was quickly put out by the soaking rain. +
“Looks like we better wait this one out. I’m sure Father is furious that we weren’t home in time to help lock the horses up.” Quinn smiled gloomily as he forced his eyes to the ground. The mud bubbled and ****** at his boots as the thirsty earth drank all that it was given.
Caden’s small bay gelding made up his mind by stamping his hoof in the mud, splattering it all over the two men. Untying their steeds and leading them into an ally, they waited there for the storm to be over.
The humidity of earlier that morning died down and turned into a bone-chilling freeze. The wind was just as frigid as the icy raindrops that escaped through the roofs above their heads. Caden welcomed the packed bodies eagerly, wishing that the horses weren’t soggier than he was. The smells of smoke, sweat, and rain blended together in the air; the usually abhorrent smell calming to him.
Finished. How does it sound? I am thinking about throwing this novel away….should I restart? Any suggestions?
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